Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Randomize
