Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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