I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Randomize
