weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
