The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize