Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
