Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize