Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
