Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I wanna passion pit in your ass
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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