He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Randomize
