haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
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