his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
