I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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