On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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