Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Can you bring me the toilet please
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
