So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Randomize
