I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
