i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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