I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
hell yes lets make some ravioli
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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