This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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