i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
