I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Randomize
