I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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