she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
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