Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
