So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
