I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
