yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
