On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
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