he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Sext me about skeletons
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
