your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Randomize
