Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Randomize