she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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