i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
