but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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