We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
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