yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
