I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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