yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Randomize