is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
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