so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
