Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Randomize
