This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
