It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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