There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize
