: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
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