I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Randomize