Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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