My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Randomize
