jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Randomize
