Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
