TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize