i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
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