Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
We are all done wearing pants today
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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