Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
