He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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