in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
