I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
