we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Randomize
