So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Randomize
